Episode 9: Wizard of Odds

*dusts off keyboard*

"LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"

Weird Jeopardy Contestant
Microns, Sharpies, Prismacolors on paper
It's been more than a few months and I've completely slept on Inktober last year, but I'm still finding time to "pick up a pencil", as the AI haters say. I'm continuing to line things up to get the blog into audio format (for those out there too lazy to read), so don't forget to tune in!

Is it strange that I was super excited about this, or am I just old?:

BOB ROSS - THE JOY OF PAINTING (LIVE CHANNEL)

WATCH LIVE CHANNEL HERE
From World Screen:

Bob Ross’s The Joy of Painting Heads to Tubi
Tubi will bring 30 seasons of the cult phenomenon The Joy of Painting, featuring Bob Ross, to its library on the Docurama Channel from Cinedigm.

Ross launched The Joy of Painting on U.S. public television in 1983 along with his partners Annette and Walt Kowalski. Nearly 400 episodes will stream on Tubi by the end of July, to watch for free.

“Bob Ross and his unforgettable style make The Joy of Painting the epitome of comfort TV,” said Adam Lewinson, chief content officer of Tubi. “Tubi is proud to be a streaming home for this timeless and beloved series.”

READ THE REST HERE

I know at least 80% of y'all clicked on that link and watched at least a few minutes of that feed...

Ok, my man TORN didn't have to go this hard:

SAMURAI MUSIC MIX 060: TORN

LISTEN HERE
From SOUNDCLOUD:

Continuously refining his singular approach to music construction, Torn commemorates the release of his second LP - Immortal for Samurai Music with a new mix for the label. 2 hours of the Torn vision shifting through immaculately twisted soundscapes.

Immortal is out now - sq.lnk.to/SMDELP11_

www.instagram.com/van_torn/

Twisted soundscapes, indeed. This is one of those mixes that if you played it for someone who's never listened to this style of music, they'd probably assume you had a secret diabolical laboratory in your basement...or you drive a Tesla truck.

I don't know if any of y'all have ever seen them, but these Backrooms flicks are wild:
I sat through all 45 minutes of this video and didn't even realize it. It's hands down one of the weirdest things I've seen on the internet since the days of when Hulu was a free platform. If you're not familiar, they're basically found footage videos of some random person wandering through a complex maze of rooms that each have evidence that something you don't want to know about went down. I'll tell you this though, as anxious as I am I would've freaked out by the third room.

On a lighter note, the good folks at Acrylick - teaming up with DJ Sophenom - have released this fresh reggae mix just in time for the return to peak Florida heat! (or wherever you'll be sweating it out)

ACRYLICK REGGAE MIX 2024 - MIXED BY DJ SOPHENOM

LISTEN HERE
I'm listening to it as I type this and I gotta say, there are definitely some head-nodders in there for those who know. Plus there are plenty of classics and party joints thrown in for seasoning. Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

If you're the type of person who would read this blog, I'm sure you're already familiar with this flick:
FRANKENSTEINS ARMY CLICK HERE TO WATCH
It's films like this that exist just to let people know that not every filmmaker is playing by any set of rules. It is horror that is highly unruly; akin to the VHS series or, more recently, In A Violent Nature or Barbarian. If you're claustrophobic or have a high disgust sensitivity, I'd steer clear of this one. However, if you're like the rest of us weirdos...proceed.

I'm going to close this out with a mix by one of my favorite drum and bass dj's/producers, DJ Fracture of Fracture & Neptune. The crazy thing about the internet is that - just like life - you simply can't see, hear, or do everything that's out there. Prime example: this mix is over a year old and I just found out about it. Be that as it may, it's chock full of the tough breaks, basslines, and stabs you're used to coming from this drumfunk legend. Enjoy and I'll catch you on the next episode!

FRACTURE LIVE ON KOOL FM
#toycrusher #taulwatersuniverse #mechdirective #art #artblog #jacksonville #jacksonvilleflorida #jax #jaxart #jaxartist #duvalcounty #duuuval #acrylick #backrooms #bobross #djfracture #djsophenom #drumandbass #drumfunk #frankensteinsarmy #horror #jacksonvilleart #jaxartblog #joyofpainting #milk #reggae #Tesla #uhaul

Left Field Mantra

SELF PORTRAIT
Prismacolors, Copics, and Microns
I'm only posting the portrait above because I thought it was funny.

But...

I wanted to share this over here because, like it or not, I'm immensely proud of this one:

Technology has reached yet another new height of ridiculous efficiency, and I'm here for it. More of this yonder-year insanity can be perused over on my Threads feed, if you're nasty. The images for this composition were conceptualized by me, generated in DALL-E 3, animated in Luma, then stitched in CapCut. Make you a couple of PB & J's, then scroll through that feed and get lost in it.

Well, it’s official. I’m now “guy who needs glasses to read things” old.

You can catch me at the grocery store about to read a label, then being like “wait, let me consult the focal oracles” while I slip on these geek windows. The upside: reading my phone is like 3D now.

I feel confident in taking the leap of faith by posting this as I've just started to listen to it:

SAMURAI MUSIC PODCAST: PRESHA MIX

LISTEN HERE
Samurai Music has been putting out the kind of moody, dystopian drum & bass sound that's so gritty and dark you kinda feel like you're piloting the Nebuchadnezzar from The Matrix. One of the first mixes I listened to from this camp was from Presha, but the absolute nastiest was an older one by Pessimist. If you're into that dark sound, I'd highly suggest giving that one a listen as well...as soon as you're done with this heat I just posted.

We're getting closer...

A L I E N: ROMULUS TRAILER
We're back to the OG aesthetic of the franchise. The "ragtag crew of misfits stuck on a space vessel with some horrendously evolved and aggressive beast" aesthetic. Fede Alvarez has an impressive resume (Evil Dead, Don't Breathe), so if anything I think we're in for a good scifi slasher. I'm sure the deep fanbase will have a much more critical analysis, but I just like to enjoy films and either throw shade at them or praise them. The fun never stops!

While we're on the subject of trailers for new horror, I just caught wind of this evil gem:
SMILE 2 TEASER TRAILER
After watching the first one and subsequently questioning people's demeanor for 2 months afterward, I'm kinda curious to see if they can top the creepy levels of the previous installment. If you haven't seen the first Smile, I'd highly suggest you stop being a punk and watch it alone...in the dark...at midnight...in a basement. I mean, I didn't view it that way, but I guarantee anyone brave enough to do so won't be the same afterward.

Just so you know, there are no real protagonists in the film I'm about to post below: VILLAINS CLICK HERE TO WATCH
I watched this one on accident, but within the first few minutes is a strangely comical scene involving the tall dude from Hemlock Grove who played Pennywise in the new IT and the girl from It Follows, so I continued on. What happened afterward pretty much convinved me that the best movies out there are ones that most of us won't ever see or hear about unless we go looking for them.

EXISTENTIAL QUESTION:

What makes someone aspire to be an anesthesiologist? Or a gynecologist? Or proctologist? What events take place in ones life or what influences happen to someone for them to decide "one day, I want to induce people into unconsciousness"? What inspiration has to strike someone for them to make the hefty decision that they want to peer into people's vaginas or rectums for a living?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

MADLIB - BEAT PROVIDER (THROUGH THE YEARS)
#toycrusher #taulwatersuniverse #mechdirective #art #artblog #jacksonville #jacksonvilleflorida #jax #jaxart #jaxartist #duvalcounty #duuuval #ALIEN #ALIENRomulus #beatkonducta #capcut #dalle3 #drumandbass #lumadreammachine #madlib #presha #samuraimusic #scifi #smile2 #villains

Weird Life

SKETCHBOOK SESSION
Most of these character sketches will probably be used for references for synthography images. Or they'll be Frankensteined into other illustrations "for parts". That's the beauty of digital art. The sources can come from all over.

Good news!

The mighty Synthography Magazine has released their second issue (one of my images is featured below), and I have to say the lineup is ridiculously sick! Too many artists to link here, but you can check out their Instagram for the full list. You can also order the hard copy here: SYNTHOGRAPHY MAG

Why does anyone drink these?

I took one sip and almost spit it in some random lady's face. This tastes like someone took goat hooves, pulverized them, marinated them in wasabi and gasoline, put caffiene in it, then dropped it in a can. I almost took it home to put in my lawnmower to save money on gas.

Y'all are in trouble now!

From Interesting Engineering:

World’s first’ graffiti-removing drone debuts in Washington

"The new drone can be used to remove graffiti in hard-to-reach places like high-level walls and bridges."

The Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT) has announced that it will pioneer a new breed of graffiti-removing drones. Modified from existing water-spraying drones, the new ones can cover graffiti in hard-to-reach places.

The new drone is part of WSDOT’s larger battle to fight graffiti. To this end, the state passed a $1 million bill in March of this year for this purpose.

There are two parts to the program. The first part aims to upgrade traffic cameras for easier identification of people who spray graffiti along the roads.

READ THE REST HERE

Washington, you nasty! This is actually hilarious. If you haven't stopped the graff "problem" in whatever city you run by now, in 2024, what makes you think throwing more money and technology at it will be a "solution"? Also, I think they're underestimating the average graffiti writers' intelligence.

This is like a young, sheltered persons Fight Club:

YOUTH IN REVOLT CLICK HERE TO WATCH
Michael Cera kind of puts me in mind of a younger generation Bill Murray. He's comical by his facial expressions and by saying very little. The only other person I can think of that really pulls that off is Lesley Neilson, but Cera is a little sharper. Surprisingly, this film uses the "downtrodden underdog who stands up for himself by means of split personality" trope and puts the philosophy into smaller bites. I honestly think it's all out hilarious.

I don't exactly want to link anything to Forbes from here, so I will illustrate this next segment in Instagram screen shots:

They should've just stopped at the first one, but nooooo. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Matrix films but let's be real: No one was calling for sequels. If it weren't for the action sequences, I honestly don't think the majority of people would have watched any of them. While the film(s) are heavily laced with philosophical, religious, and scientific tropes, that doesn't really sell movies touted as action flicks. Guns, crazy flips, and women in tight patent leather will, though. Just not Plato's Allegory of the Cave.

If anyone has an extra regular sleep schedule lying around, please send me one! Until next time!

MADLIB feat. GUILTY SIMPSON - LOOKING FOR TROUBLE
#toycrusher #taulwatersuniverse #mechdirective #art #artblog #jacksonville #jacksonvilleflorida #jax #jaxart #jaxartist #duvalcounty #duuuval #synthographymagazine #interestingengineering #wsdot #youthinrevolt #michaelcera #thematrix #madlib #guiltysimpson #madlibmedicineshow

The Kitchen

Sketchbook Session
I can't remember if it was the camera or the page that was dirty, but there's definitely some smudging going on here. You're probably thinkng "why didn't his lazy ass just retake the photos?". Because I'm doing this all in one take, for authenticity...or some excuse like that. There was no concept, rhyme, or reason behind this composition. I just let my hand go...which usually produces the best results. However, you're liable to either do a ton of erasing or waste a bunch of paper taking that approach. Yet, if you want to go where few have gone before...

I know, for a fact, that no one reading this is a stranger to Theo Von...

THEO VON FUNNIEST MOMENTS VOL. 1
Ok, maybe I don't know that for a fact, but this dude said "I think if you have a diploma, you're not a hooker." 😂

Did anyone notice this A L I E N easter egg in the remake of the old scifi TV show "V"?

I swear, Weyland/Yutani has their hands in everything. I'm starting to think they're a metaphor for Apple and Microsoft. Only they're trying to get their hands on a xenomorph, not your data.

If you don't have a dark sense of humor, don't watch this...but do, though.

THIS IS HOW YOU DIE
Funny but true story: in the early days of the Funny Or Die website, the Admin banned me from commenting on their videos because I said something they didn't like about a video Will Ferrell did. The internet in the early 2000's was awesome.

Speaking of dark humor, Burn is a flick that is labeled as horror but the protagonists behavior throws you off to make you think the film is going in a certain direction. This keeps you on your toes the entire time while the story is coupled with some strange humor and odd tension. That's all a roundabout way of me saying "she's weird af and he's an idiot".

BURN CLICK HERE TO WATCH
I probably should've waited until I saw The Exorcist: Believer before I posted this or even got excited about it, but I'll admit I'm interested in where they take this. That might change once I actually get a chance to see the aforementioned, but check this out anyway:

From Bloody Disgusting:

Mike Flanagan in Talks to Direct the Next ‘Exorcist’ Movie

Recent comments from producer Jason Blum suggested that a retool was in order when last year’s The Exorcist: Believer wasn’t as successful as Blumhouse and Universal hoped. That certainly seems to be the case, as Deadline reports tonight that Mike Flanagan is in talks to direct the next Exorcist movie.

Director David Gordon Green was initially on board to direct an entire trilogy of new movies in the franchise, with The Exorcist: Believer intended to be only the first film in that three-film sequel series. Originally set to hit theaters on April 18, 2025, sequel The Exorcist: Deceiver was delayed when Green left the project.

If talks come to fruition, Flanagan will take over, likely steering the franchise in a new direction.

READ THE REST HERE

I'm going to go ahead and leave it there before I exhaust everyone's ADHD and y'all stop reading this blog.

OH NO feat. PERCEE P & DIAMOND D - KNOW MY VOICE

#toycrusher #taulwatersuniverse #mechdirective #art #artblog #jacksonville #jacksonvilleflorida #jax #jaxart #jaxartist #duvalcounty #duuuval #theovon #ALIEN #V #WeylandYutani #funnyordie #ohno #perceep #diamondd #theexorcist

7:30

DIGITAL PHANTOM SERIES: 004
Masking in vector art makes me anxious. It never feels like the assets you're masking are going to work with the rest of the composition, so it ends up being a "fuqit, see what happens" scenario and we all know how that can go. You could easily end up with a character looking like it's wearing a Rick James outfit...

...anyway, Tubi just added one of the most underrated scifi shows since, well...

HELIX CLICK HERE TO WATCH
I first saw this show when it was on Netflix and, while many found it to be kinda cheesy, I thought it was/is pretty good. It gives the "escaped virus/outbreak/zombie" trope a different perspective - beginning in the Arctic and then moving...somewhere else. I don't want to give any of it away in case anyone is inquisitive enought to venture into it. I will say that visually I've pulled a ton of inspiration from this show, so there's that.

OK, WHO ALL'S GOING?!

I was dissappointed when I realized that wasn't taking place in Springfield of Jacksonville...

...but yeah, zombie flicks are always my go-to when it comes to film, so you can imagine how amped I am about this happening:

From Dread Central:

’28 Years Later’: Everything We Know So Far About

January 2024 saw the announcement of plans for a new 28 Days Later trilogy. The planned 28 Years Later story will span three films, as trilogies are known to do, and will bring back many critical players. Few details have been released in the months since the first announcement. That will likely remain the case for the foreseeable future.

While fans clamor for more information, we know that the franchise is a classic known for reinvigorating a previously slumping zombie horror subgenre. Twenty-two years since the first film’s release and facing tall expectations, will the 28 Years Later trilogy deliver?

READ THE REST HERE

28 Days Later was the first time I remember seeing zombies actually run in a film - which is absolutely bonkers when you think about it. World War Z subsequently showed them in hive mind, ant like behavior but initially seeing them actually run (FAST) after their victims was nerve wracking and nightmarish - and they didn't even use CGI. Dafuq kind of voodoo was that?

In case you happened to have missed this, I didn't:

FIXING GOOD: A BREAKING BAD PARODY I get the feeling Studio C is for kids and wholesome people, so the preceeding video is completely out of place over here. Yet, Breaking Bad fans know. I don't want to offend the church, but this seems like something "they'd" do.

Somebody tell me what's really happening here...

Chechnya Bans Music That Doesn't Have the Right Tempo

From Newser:

Chechen authorities have reportedly shrunk the number of songs that are permissible in the Russian republic by banning music that's too fast or too slow. "From now on all musical, vocal, and choreographic works must correspond to a tempo of 80 to 116 beats per minute" in order to conform to the "Chechen mentality and musical rhythm," the culture ministry announced Friday, reports CNN. Radio Free Europe reports it's unclear "exactly how the restrictions will apply or would be enforced in the tightly controlled Muslim region," though Politico says Chechen musicians were reportedly given until June 1 to "rewrite" their songs.

READ THE REST HERE

Yyeeaaahh...

...so this is one of those who-dunnit-and-why flicks that you think the antagonist is obvious but isn't:

30 MILES FROM NOWHERE CLICK HERE TO WATCH
From the beginning, the main character is a strange individual (not that that's a spoiler - they're all strange). However, this one was actually more funny than anything, but you'll swear you have the characters pegged and then they flip the ending on you - rather suddenly I might add.

*NOT A SCENE FROM THE FILM*
Before I sign off, I recently came across this video thanks to Boom Bap Nation, and I have to say I haven't been this hype over a cypher in a minute. Salute!

COAST CONTRA SCENARIO FREESTYLE
#toycrusher #taulwatersuniverse #mechdirective #art #artblog #jacksonville #jacksonvilleflorida #jax #jaxart #jaxartist #duvalcounty #duuuval #coastcontra #30milesfromnowhere #28yearslater #28dayslater #DUNE #studioc #chechnyamusicban #helix #boombapnation